Hell with it, tomorrow's Friday, I can go without some sleep. I gots words to share, so listen up.
Back in high school, I was a good kid; grades weren't half bad, didn't drink, no drugs - just kept pretty quiet. Had a best friend, didn't run in any circles, cool or nerdy, was on the swim team a couple years, was the A&E editor of the paper, got invited into the running for homecoming king by a technicality - for the most part I was an unknown, a shadow at best.
One night I received the end result of a stupid mistake with another guy's girl. This spiraled into three days of one entire class against another, property damage in the night, a couple near-brawls, and two kids getting expelled from a class. I was in the wrong, the entire time, I started all this, and by way of association, everyone near me bore the brunt.
In the middle of all these happenings, with various friends telling me to let it go, acquaintances ready to throw a punch on my behalf, teachers near tears in concern, and my folks, blindly reaching for their son, I found myself in the loneliest place I've ever been.
So many people were intertwined in the mess I had made, but I felt completely alone.
Sitting in my old '83 Nissan Stanza, a baseball bat in the passenger seat, I stared down a dark suburban street in Fremont. It was cold, but my windows were open - my body heat had started to fog the windows, and I didn't want the added attention. I was searching the darkness for someone that I'm thankful I never found.
Through all the horrible strain of those three days, I was watched by the entire school, and for the first time I felt connected. I learned what your relationships mean, no matter how small or big. I found out I "fit" into that world, and how everyone else belonged, despite allegiance or right or wrong. Just as much as summers running through the sprinklers at home, or walking the dog down to the park with my girlfriend, the three days born from my wrongdoing made that place my hometown.
Home is found in the good and bad of hindsight.
_______________
Jose Gonzalez - Teardrop
Ending Note: Thanks to forgiveness and friendship.
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