Finding Home: Part III

NY and DS came with me to my parents' pad for Thanksgiving.

My father's side of the family consists of my immediate family (7) + my grandmother (1) + six uncles and their children, and grandchildren (roughly 30) + an aunt and her children, and grandchildren (7). That makes about 45 folks, although about 30 make it to Thanksgiving each year.

Absolutely love the fact that I grew up with so many people that I got to see eight to ten times a year; now that we're older, the family gets together about half as often. To me, slamming mahjong tiles, sounds of bullets flying and swords clashing from a big screen TV, a never-ending onslaught of food, and too many bodies in a house, well, that makes family. And family is synonymous with holiday.

In less than a month, we do it all again, but at my uncle's place instead.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, family, home - it doesn't matter where, it's all the same to me.

_______________

An Horse - Dressed Sharply

Ending Note: My mom is a better cook than your mom.

Finding Home: Part II

Hell with it, tomorrow's Friday, I can go without some sleep. I gots words to share, so listen up.

Back in high school, I was a good kid; grades weren't half bad, didn't drink, no drugs - just kept pretty quiet. Had a best friend, didn't run in any circles, cool or nerdy, was on the swim team a couple years, was the A&E editor of the paper, got invited into the running for homecoming king by a technicality - for the most part I was an unknown, a shadow at best. 

One night I received the end result of a stupid mistake with another guy's girl. This spiraled into three days of one entire class against another, property damage in the night, a couple near-brawls, and two kids getting expelled from a class. I was in the wrong, the entire time, I started all this, and by way of association, everyone near me bore the brunt.

In the middle of all these happenings, with various friends telling me to let it go, acquaintances ready to throw a punch on my behalf, teachers near tears in concern, and my folks, blindly reaching for their son, I found myself in the loneliest place I've ever been.

So many people were intertwined in the mess I had made, but I felt completely alone.

Sitting in my old '83 Nissan Stanza, a baseball bat in the passenger seat, I stared down a dark suburban street in Fremont. It was cold, but my windows were open - my body heat had started to fog the windows, and I didn't want the added attention. I was searching the darkness for someone that I'm thankful I never found. 

Through all the horrible strain of those three days, I was watched by the entire school, and for the first time I felt connected. I learned what your relationships mean, no matter how small or big. I found out I "fit" into that world, and how everyone else belonged, despite allegiance or right or wrong. Just as much as summers running through the sprinklers at home, or walking the dog down to the park with my girlfriend, the three days born from my wrongdoing made that place my hometown.

Home is found in the good and bad of hindsight.

_______________

Jose Gonzalez - Teardrop

Ending Note: Thanks to forgiveness and friendship.

Finding Home: Part I

Spent this morning back in SF, taking a tour of a couple studios for rent. I wasn't expecting to find a place of interest, and that's exactly what I accomplished. Despite this fact, I still felt a bit deflated and disheartened at the start of my lackluster search for a new place of residence; so, I went to my cafe to find some solace.

You seen Garden State? There's a line that goes:

"Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place."

So what does living on your own mean? If you've not anyone to share the imaginary place, then do you have family? This brings us to another point from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events:

"And remember one thing, my darlings, and never forget it: that no matter where we are, know that as long as you have each other, you have your family. And you are home."

This quote actually speaks to me a greater deal; it removes the requirement that a consensus be reached between a group about the same idea. Instead, all you need are your loved ones, and you have a home - geography, physical confines, mutual agreement, they're not needed as long as you share care and fondness with others.

Working backwards, went to brunch with Red yesterday at The Hobnob, where they tried to convince me that this is french toast:

Me: "That's not french toast."

Red: "That's french loaf."

It looks like three fillets of trout, I know, but they assured me that this was a plate of french toast. If you ever happen by the place, I suggest you try their Three Cheese Baked Mac 'n Cheese.

Lastly, during the trailers before watching The Trip, we caught one for a film was saw in Sundance. It's dark, powerful, and epic. Keep an eye out.

_______________
Blind Pilot - Two Towns From Me
Ending Note: Trout is a funny word.