2012, An Uncertain Starting Point

Whew.

An amazingly potent cold, the holidays, a trip halfway across the country, and the new year's arrival.

Quite the buildup to an inspirational post fraught with shock and awe. Sorry folks, not going to happen...

Instead, some geometric philanthropy.

I've mention before the circles that make up my social world, and my comfort zone for overlapping, and I've just recently decided on an amendment.

I've chosen to tighten the belt and shrink my circles a bit more, to cut the fat, and simplify. Too many colors and lines tend to drag me away from the logical categorization of my friends, and well, I don't want to.

Actually, that's just it - I don't want to. I don't want to deal with the ambiguous and unpredictable. I'd rather not have grey and tepid. This is me, crabwalking backwards.

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Eminem - Kim

Ending Note: Don't worry, the drama will pass.

The Cost of Living

Spent today with my old roommate DW in the city. We're looking to combine forces once again, and find some housing - preferably in Potrero, Hayes, or anywhere mid-city really. Tough going though, with the housing market the way it is.

We're looking $2300 or lower for a two bedroom apartment, and only had two viewings today. I guess that's not so bad - I can remember college in Santa Cruz where I shared a two bed, one bath with three other guys; we would each pay $600 a month. 

Supersaturated markets are the pits.

On a different note, I have a couple cousins that live in the Davis area, and this seems to be causing some concern. Occupy stance aside, I found the concerns over the role of the police an interesting point of the article.

In the times of terrorism and economic strife, we probably need more of this protect and serve, rather than distrust and fear.

Think back a bit - what did you first think or feel the last time you saw a cop on the street?

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Silversun Pickups - The Royal We

Ending Note: Short week coming up. And pumpkin pie.

Occupy Something

Red gave me a call around 5:00 PM.

Red: "They're kinda close. Can you close the shop early?"

Me: "No. Should really stay till closing."

At first I was confused as to why they were here - there is nothing around the shop, but roads and cats. Then again, I guess shutting down a port draws some attention.

It's not that I'm against the movement, but this sort of hubbub just seems saturated in bad press and more harm, than good, for the cause. You can't differentiate the anarchists, skulduggery, or clueless followers from the message. It seems most people I've heard from have had more pride in the fact that they're part of this piece of history, than pride in the sort of change they're pushing; not to say that the former is invalid, but isn't the whole point of this to achieve something?

Me: "No, yeah, they're really close. I'm getting out of here."

Red: "Bye."

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Grand Hallway - Blessed Be, Honey Bee

Ending Note: Condolences to the Runway Style House that was vandalised and robbed during the general strike.

Finding Home: Part II

Hell with it, tomorrow's Friday, I can go without some sleep. I gots words to share, so listen up.

Back in high school, I was a good kid; grades weren't half bad, didn't drink, no drugs - just kept pretty quiet. Had a best friend, didn't run in any circles, cool or nerdy, was on the swim team a couple years, was the A&E editor of the paper, got invited into the running for homecoming king by a technicality - for the most part I was an unknown, a shadow at best. 

One night I received the end result of a stupid mistake with another guy's girl. This spiraled into three days of one entire class against another, property damage in the night, a couple near-brawls, and two kids getting expelled from a class. I was in the wrong, the entire time, I started all this, and by way of association, everyone near me bore the brunt.

In the middle of all these happenings, with various friends telling me to let it go, acquaintances ready to throw a punch on my behalf, teachers near tears in concern, and my folks, blindly reaching for their son, I found myself in the loneliest place I've ever been.

So many people were intertwined in the mess I had made, but I felt completely alone.

Sitting in my old '83 Nissan Stanza, a baseball bat in the passenger seat, I stared down a dark suburban street in Fremont. It was cold, but my windows were open - my body heat had started to fog the windows, and I didn't want the added attention. I was searching the darkness for someone that I'm thankful I never found. 

Through all the horrible strain of those three days, I was watched by the entire school, and for the first time I felt connected. I learned what your relationships mean, no matter how small or big. I found out I "fit" into that world, and how everyone else belonged, despite allegiance or right or wrong. Just as much as summers running through the sprinklers at home, or walking the dog down to the park with my girlfriend, the three days born from my wrongdoing made that place my hometown.

Home is found in the good and bad of hindsight.

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Jose Gonzalez - Teardrop

Ending Note: Thanks to forgiveness and friendship.

The Sum of Our Parts

Birthday post to follow. For now, some news...

There's dangerous stuff happening in London. These idiots thought they were in a movie or something. And these two have betrayed so much by their actions.

Criminality comes in many forms, with differing degrees, that can only be even remotely decided by a justice system that is never perfect. Individuals make up the criminals - individuals make up the society that has been injured by these acts. It boils down to one person, making a decision that impacts us all.

As a people, we've lost sight of the value and importance of honor. It's a largely antiquated idea that smells of hokey sentiment, but is the simplest aid in these criminal times. 

To be held responsible to yourself. Holding weight in principle above an end result. Searching for the right answer even when there appears to be none. Making choices that transcend their impact to you alone. Doing good.

There's a rule I follow when dating women:

"Leave 'em better than when you found 'em."

I think this can be taken out of the bubble of dating, and given room to apply to people in general. If this one little rule was followed even 1% of the time, the impact on our societies would be monumental.

_______________

Daughter - Your Kisses

Ending Note: Being good is hard, but try.

Binary Differences

Read the news online during my lunch break. It's something I inherited when I took the nine to five world on.

Went over the details of the stuff that happened in Norway, and had a talk with The Boss about it.

The Boss: "Do you feel better now that you've read that?"

Me: "No."

The Boss: "That's why I stopped reading the news. Nothing good ever happens in the news."

He's got a point, albeit a pessimistic one; corruption sells, death sells, humiliation sells. Need more proof, check your local listing for some choice programing. 

But I'd rather see things from another angle. 

I read the news to stay informed, to stay connected to the humanity that's in a constant swirl of chaos and change. If anything, the world needs all the help it can get, even from lil 'ol me. In the grand scheme of the game, I'm not making much of a dent in the the scales of hope and love and joy, but +1 is better than 0, and a hell of a lot better than -1. 

Need some perspective?

_______________

Only Son - Call Them Brothers (feat. Regina Spektor)

Ending Note: Maybe you don't need to measure progress. Maybe you just need to know which direction its headed.

It's Minnesota, Shovel Some Snow

You're peeved at your neighbors - it happens. Their baby won't stop crying, they toss their garbage in your cans, they always take the good spots in front of your place...

It's one thing to feel burdened by neighbors - it's domestic comfort; habit and territory make you feel safe, and outsiders infringe on that. I get it. But this, jesus, come on.

At some point it drops from plain 'ol stupid to sad. You really have nothing more pressing in your life, no hobbies or relationships, to fill your time with? Instead, you buy hacking software, break into your neighbor's WiFi, plant political threats, child pornography, and hijack emails. Really? At least watch some bad TV or something.

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The Crystal Method - Jaded

Ending Note: Computers & The Internet - there's always a trail.

Thanks For Ruining My Lunch

I never really followed this case, but reading the summary, I found myself wondering how the system works. How our legal system finds justice in such a public, communication soaked world of voyeurs and gossips. This is one of the most disturbing parts of the whole thing:

Among the trial spectators was 51-year-old Robin Wilkie, who said she has spent $3,000 on hotels and food since arriving June 10 from Lake Minnetonka, Minn. She tallied more than 100 hours standing in line to wait for tickets and got into the courtroom 15 times to see Anthony.

Yes, this will be hypocritical, but what is wrong with you woman?

There are families going hungry in major cities accross this country, and you're treating the murder trial of a child like a day time soap, with the perks of a vacation at an amusement park. Repugnant.

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Natalie Merchant - San Andreas Fault

Ending Note: I need to drink more water.