The sounds coming from outside my bedroom window are reminiscent of anti-aircraft fire in the distance. It's been going steady for a good fifteen minutes, and I can only guess that it's multiple fireworks displays just lined up back to back. Feel I should really be out, well, anywhere, watching the colors and lights, but this heat that's been pounding away at the East Bay has my motivations in a muzzle.
Speaking of getting out more, I've two friends that recently broke it off with their girlfriends. One, it's been done for clear two months now, the other I just learned about yesterday, and the wound's still as fresh as The Fonz. I have advice for these post relationship woes that breaks down to two parts, and as an introduction, here's a bit of dialogue I wrote a while back for a screenplay concerning broken relationships:
"You don’t want to be friends with her. You don’t want anything to do with her – you want out of what you’re in now, and she has nothing to do with that. What you need is a busy schedule and a butt-load of booze, because at some point, when you’ve loaded yourself with enough alcohol, you’re not you, you’re Superman. There is no future with her, there is no past, and there sure as hell isn’t a present. Superman flies and stops bullets with his chest. He doesn’t make friends. Some people will say that this is hiding, that it’s running from things, and I say to them, fuck you. They’re not you, they’re idiots speaking from a high than thou point of view. They don’t mean a thing on the matter – they’re a fucking giraffe talking about astro physics. You got to look at it this way my friend. You have carte blanche to do whatever you want at this time. And I’m not talking about screwing around or binge drinking – you’re free to do whatever you need to until your head and heart figure out a way to mend. Market’s open baby, grab a cart."
See, a broken heart paired with inebriation fuels a zest for socialization and activity. A person is wounded, in need of attention, and reassurance that things will be well again; this means they require personal interaction. In the fragile state a newly single person can be in, choosing to be social can be extremely daunting or just plain unappealing. A few drinks, hopefully with some friendly backup, in a social setting, and the positive feedback we are searching for comes naturally.
Second part, the staying busy. A mind weighed heavy with a long term problem, will continue to tackle said problem, if not ruminating about something else. So you have to stay active. Make plans with friends, stay longer at work, add days to your gym schedule, watch a movie (non-romance) on Netflix - the list is longer than you could ever come up with. The only times you should be by yourself, or not doing something, is when you're in your PJs or have some toilet paper nearby.
Granted, none of this advice should be taken to an extreme. I don't condone alcoholism, and some people take the busy schedule too serious, and actually turn into head cases about having nothing to do. I'm a huge advocate of doing nothing, but not when you've just left a relationship. During that time you got to be Superman or Superwoman. And yes, you're gonna be alright.
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Lisa Hannigan - Lillie
Ending Note: Yes, the design is still horrible. No, it won't be changing any time soon. Yes, I'm lazy.
